When You Can't Sleep At Night
by NotAlllThoseWhoWanderAreLost
Summary: Their world is awaked with mistakes, but it's love that keeps fueling them. Continuation of The Host in Wanderer's POV. Rating may change later.


**Story inspired by the song When You Can't Sleep At Night by Of Mice & Men. Sadly, I don't own The Host.**

Following the aisles one by one, I realized how much I'd missed civilization. Drive through windows and lights void of a hum and automatic acceptance. But as I hurried to grab the luxurious bottles of shampoos and soaps, I wanted nothing more than to go _home_.

Not the Origin, the Mists Planet, or the Singing World. I craved the clothes stained in purple dust and the musty smell of the sulfur springs, to have creosote in every direction and the ability to see the stars through the small holes in the ceiling. I missed the sound of Ian's footsteps across the rock and seeing Melanie finally speak for herself and Jamie's enthusiasm and optimism. Home is where I'm with my entire family. I'm homesick.

But while I'm amidst all of these Souls, my fingers tremble as I pluck necessities from the shelves. The fear is not my own, it belongs to the two men waiting outside. I peered past one of the shelves to peek through the windows overlooking the parking lot and I could see the outline of the tan vehicle in the very back corner. The oblong van was crammed tightly with things we needed: surplus grocery bags filled with food, toilet paper and feminine products, large bags of flour, and much more. I smiled mentally as I remembered Kyle's disgusted facial expression as he rummaged through the Kotex boxes. It was all covered with an oversized black blanket so there would be lack of suspicion, and I wished the stubborn boys would crawl beneath it as well.

"Wanda." Said a whisper. I didn't turn, my neck grew hot. _"Wanda."_ It said again with more urgency. Slowly my body pivoted to meet eyes with Burns.

"Yes?" I answered as calmly and politely as I could.

"Are you ready to check out yet?" He questioned while I shook my head to gather my thoughts. His eyes stayed glued to mine and I cleared my throat lightly.

"Oh. Um, yes." I mumbled, turning to stride out of the aisle and attempting to break the discomfort that Burns made me feel in my gut.

I locked eyes with the cashier and she shot me a polite smile. She was very pretty, medium length brown hair and green eyes with a silver ring around the pupil. Her courtesy does not surprise me.

"Hello, soul. Did you manage to find everything you were looking for?" She questioned with innocent eyes and a slight smile. I returned the favor without difficulty.

"I did, thank you." I was suddenly very conscious of Burns' presence at my side, his hand landing on my hip and making my arms tense as I slid the trolley towards the woman. My eyes cast a glance at Burns and found him staring at me intensely, I diverted my eyes before an uncomfortable blush spread across my cheeks. I wished the hands on me were Ian's. She glanced between me and the man at my side and assumed we were partners, smiling widely while she bagged our groceries.

"What are your names?" She questioned curiously and I answered immediately.

"I am Carves Frozen Water and my… partner is Scorching In Sunrise." The names passed my lips with ease, calling anyone other than Ian my partner lanced hesitation. The cashier laughed and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"How peculiar that you have each partnered with your complete opposite." She mused, and laughter forced its way through my throat. She had not the simplest clue of how correct she was. Burns' hand left my hip as he grabbed a dark green plastic bag from the girl and I relaxed visibly.

"Ironic, isn't it?" I agreed with a grin, also grabbing a bag or two.

"Definitely. How I wish to find a partner…" She muttered, giving us the last of the plastic bundles. I squeaked as I struggled with a select one and she quickly caught the handles before it fell. "Oh dear, would you like some help carrying these to your vehicle?" She questioned. My face paled unintentionally. I heard Burns sigh.

"Thank you, but I think I have a hold on it now. You don't have to trouble yourself," Reassurance is becoming all too natural to me.

"It is really no trouble!" She claimed while I balanced the final bag on my arm. "Goodbye, Carves Frozen Water. Scorching In Sunrise." She nodded towards Burns and he grinned. We left soon after I returned the goodbyes, my nerves fraying at the ends with stress and calming instantly as I saw a soft glow coming from the car. We reached the corner of the parking lot, I managed to get the trunk open before lifting the dark blanket over all of the supplies. Burns had a tired notion in his eyes as he loaded his bags, almost dropping one as I had. Our sleeping schedules were inconsistent with each others and because of this one of us was always tired. He got inside the other moving van parked beside the car. I heard light snoring from inside and hesitated as I wondered which one of my friends it was. In my peripheral vision I eyed a bag that was rather top heavy.

"Jared? That bag is going to fall, could you catch it?" I spoke in a hurry, and he quickly caught it from the very back seat. He smiled at me.

"Thank you." I said gratefully.

"How'd it go, Wanda?" Jared asked with a contagious teasing smile.

"Great, as usual," I said quietly with a small laugh. My head went to a different place of mind, however. I leaned in close to his ear to whisper. "Burns makes me very… uncomfortable." The mental image of his hand on my hip wouldn't go away as Jared chuckled.

"How brutally honest you're becoming..." He joshed while I glared at him. "Wanderer." The use of my whole name made me snicker. He tucked himself back in his seat as I loaded the last bag and slammed the trunk down. My hands were on the steering wheel in an instant when I climbed in and drove out through the exit lane without looking back.

"Did you keep your promise, Wanda?" Kyle playfully questioned with an undertone of seriousness and I rolled my eyes. We'd been getting along better these days.

"They're in the trunk. The bag on top," I heard him rummaging around as Jared toyed with the radio pettily before he decided to turn it off.

"_Aw!" _Disappointment coated Kyle's voice.

"What?" I asked exasperatedly. I was irritably tired of being on the road.

"These are baked!" He complained, holding up the bag of Lays barbeque chips.

"They're healthier." I said simply and didn't even need to look at him to know that he was rolling his eyes. His hands ripped open the bag anyway and I had to smile when Jared laughed.

Along the road, different types of cacti sprung up on the edges and I sighed in relief as we got closer to home. The grocery store was in Tucson and it was the last run we had to make after we went out of state. We were still too far from the caves for my liking. I had barely even been allowed on this raid, and Melanie was forbidden by Jared. He claimed that he had just gotten her back and wasn't in the mood to lose her again, despite how much of an annoyance she was. She had hit him after that. I smiled at the memory.

Kyle needed a break from the caves and he had expressed on multiple occasions how much he missed Sunny. He cared for her, despite her replacing his Jodi. His protectiveness was difficult to decipher whether it was aimed towards Jodi's body or Sunny, although I had a hunch. He wouldn't risk to bring her, either. So many things made me smile these days. Burns had come just to tag along and it was internally decided that we would pose as a couple. I had not the slightest clue how that conclusion had been drawn but it saved me trouble. I'm sure Ian would not particularly love the idea either.

Ian…

I think I missed him the most. We'd all been gone on this raid for nearly four weeks, traveling farther east for a change in scenery and hopefully our luck. Nate had let Burns bring along the moving van he'd acquired, much to our delight the car wouldn't be as cramped as usual with all the extra room. We'd gather supplies during the day and return to where we'd hidden the storage van near the Cumberland Gap. It was fairly more efficient that way but the farther we traveled from home, the more I missed it and the people it entailed. I'd always had reassurance being closer to home, it was foreign for me to be so far, especially east. Comfort washed over me knowing we were so close. So close to my Ian.

It was a wonder in itself how Ian had let me be a part of this raid. He'd fought Jared on it for days. It had taken Burns' calm and collected sense of survival to convince him that I was needed. One of the agreements to my going was that Ian would be going as well but Burns had managed to discourage the idea. He had been going on raids for years now and discovered that it was easiest to troop four people rather than any other number. Two souls, Jared's keen sense of his surroundings and determinations, and Kyle is… Well, Kyle. We needed both of them, that fact speaks for itself. Once Ian had gotten past his anger over the limitations he kept by my side for days while everyone rushed with the planning. Little things like taking my hand during story time after dinner or brushing sweat off of my brow while we worked in the fields or keeping our knees touching at breakfast. The night before the raiding group left he'd helped me with all my chores in order to spend any time he could with me before I left. He knew it'd be a long one, we'd avoided going on raids for awhile until I was content with the condition of my new body, and Sunny going instead was obviously out of the question. But I missed my human more than I let on. I was desperate for his voice and his smell and suddenly my foot felt like lead against the gas pedal. The van started speeding forward with an angry growl and my eyes widened before I turned to see who'd noticed. Jared snored in the passenger seat. Kyle smirked once he saw me turn my head from his peripheral vision and he munched on his chips loudly. My face burned as I whipped back around to watch the empty road.

"Anxious to get home?" He halted shoveling groups of chips in his mouth to question me. "Me too." He stated before I could answer. I heard the crunching start up again.

"Do you want me to drive?" I heard Jared pipe up next to me, making me flinch in surprise. "You look tired," He observed, and I hesitated before nodding. He made the motion for me to pull over and I did, the seat still warm with his body heat as I settled down and van was on the road again.

"I'll just sleep for the last hour or so…" I trailed off, knowing fully well that that was not the case. Anxiety and longing wracked my brain, but my eyes closed anyway.

"Okay Wanda," Jared said softly and I sensed sympathy in his tone. How were my friends not agonizing over the wait like I was? Was it that noticeable?

The silence was palpable for the next hour other than the occasional crunch of Kyle and his potato chips. In a way, the annoying crunch kept me grounded and helped pass the time. I tried to keep the images of Ian and Jamie and Mel out of my head but they trended my thoughts relentlessly. Before I knew it Jared was out of the car to lower the tarp and my heart thudded with anticipation as the car slowed against the desert sand. Even Kyle ceased crunching. Jared peered in the rearview mirror to keep an eye on Burns driving behind us and I turned to peer as well. Sure enough, headlights kept their pace behind us and my hands began to shake as we neared the smart nook to hide the vehicles. My feet hit the sand with a thud as we all began to wait for Burns. He parked next to the small cave and I could immediately see the exhaustion on his face. Guilt surged through me as I greeted him with a friendly wave and a smile, which he returned.

"You guys know the drill, correct?" Jared questioned as he slid out of the driver's seat and onto the ground. He was referring to how we take the perishables and load them from the moving van and into the car, cramming ourselves tightly until we get to the nook closer to the caves so that we can continue unloading from there.

"Yes, _mom." _Kyle prodded with a light punch to the shoulder. Jared cocked an eyebrow and ignored his comment.

"Let's hurry then." I said softly and Kyle chuckled.

"Someone is homesick." He observed with a grin adhering his face. My face went hot.

"It's not like we all aren't," Jared defended when he opened the back of the moving van and doors swung open. Transferring went by quickly with all of us helping and soon we were all back in the van and on the move again. Longing hit my stomach like a wrecking ball for the umpteenth time that night as we approached the caves in the darkness. We had to hurry before dawn approached and it was too light outside to do much without being in jeopardy. After a short instruction lecture and a few eye rolls from all of us, I was handed a light box with pasta and boxes of cereal inside. Jared smiled at me knowingly as I grumbled and fast walked to the entrance about a hundred yards away. I was much less weak than when I was first inserted, days of working in the field with Ian and Mel insured that. I sighed.

Ian was so close. I picked up my pace. Closer and closer I got to the small entrance, I realized that I didn't even have to duck anymore to slip inside. As soon as I was in, I ran towards the storage pile in the room where I stayed when I first arrived at the caves. On the way there I noticed the main room was completely void of any of my family and I didn't even here any noise from the kitchen. I stepped foot in the room set the box down where it wouldn't get in the way and on my way out I ran into Aaron. Literally.

My outstretched arms hit his stomach with an _oof_ and his hands gripped my shoulders.

"Wanda? You're back?" He said it like a question, letting go of me once I was steadied.

"Yes. We all are. Everyone is safe." I answered the important parts. He grinned at me before running assumedly to help unload with Jared and the boys. My feet began to pad against the rock familiarly and my scalp tingled with the feeling I missed: home. I found myself now standing in the large open room that spiders off into all the hallways and I heard barely nothing. I panicked.

Aaron surely would have said if something happened, right? My humans had to be safe. They had to be. Suddenly a voice rang out and I couldn't make out who it belonged to.

"THEY'RE BACK!" It yelled loudly and my heart beat faster knowing that soon I would see Ian and Jamie and Mel and everyone that I missed so terribly. I wanted so badly to run to them all but I didn't want to be selfish by not helping to unload all of the products of the raid. Running footsteps were coming from the hallway to the game room and I turned around and bounded towards the entrance to be of more assistance outside. Kyle handed me a large mesh bag full of apples, another one filled with oranges, and yet another filled with potatoes. I smiled at him and he smirked back; He understands that I don't want to be treated like a child. I felt the weight of them all and they really weren't bad, although I'm not sure if I was only reassuring myself.

I didn't have long to appreciate the new atrophy before a large chest was pressed against my back. My eyes widened in panic as hands took each bag from my hand and set them on the ground. I knew those hands anywhere.

"Ian," I breathed. Before the rush of blood could even get to my face I was lifted from the ground and up into familiar arms.

"Wanderer." He whispered as he cradled me closer to his chest. The cool desert night air ran its fingers through my hair, making it flutter. I gripped his shirt and fisted it in my hands, inhaling his musky smell with a sigh. I underestimated how much I'd missed my Ian. Suddenly my senses kicked in. I couldn't believe I was being so selfish! My family needed me.

"Ian, put me down! I need to help unloa-" I didn't get a chance to finish.

"No." He growled, ducking to get inside the cave entrance. My mouth shut in surprise. I turned my neck to glance beyond Ian's arm to see a crowd beginning to form to assist with the goods and guilt hit my stomach. But something landed in my gut harder than guilt, and that was relief. I was home to be with Mel and Jamie and Ian…

_My_ Ian. Before I knew it, moisture seeped from my eyes and leaked through the creases. My head jostled as Ian ran without a destination and as soon as he realized he was shaking me he cushioned my head with his forearm. My body curled into his heat while tears ran down my face.

"Wanderer," He moaned again. Suddenly he stopped and dropped to his knees, pushing his face into my hair while he choked on his own breathing. I took a quick glance around to notice that he'd stopped in the middle of the main room, the community garden just a few feet to our right. Green sprouted from one half of the soil and I took a moment to ponder whether they were carrots or onions. The other half I'm sure was corn, in its median stages it stood about a meter tall and occupied half the field.

"Ian." I sighed, my small fingers tinkering with the hairs on the back of his neck.

"Wanderer." He breathed yet again, chuckling after I giggled for his lack of proper vocabulary. "What's wrong?" He questioned, holding my weight as if I were nothing as he sat cross-legged and set my dainty body against his lap, holding me like a child. Our eyes met for the first time. I stopped breathing when I saw the glistening blue. He seemed to do the same.

"I've missed you." I said softly, my hand running gently over his ear as his thumb came up rid of my tears.

"Why?" He croaked with emotion, cocking his head. My eyebrows furrowed as I gazed at the purple, holey floor. Why _did _I miss a human? _What_ did I miss? It was difficult to express why and how much I missed when every fiber of my small silver body lived for every single firey aspect.

I didn't grasp a chance to answer before his mouth was on mine. Liquid magma smoldered beneath my skin, my muscles, my cells. I felt my feelers curl in both pleasure and relief. As innocent as the kiss was, Ian laid me down next to him gingerly as he laid back, our lips willing to stay pressed against each others. Small particles of rock grinded under my light brown ankle-high athletic hiking boots as they raked against the ground and I smiled at the sound. Ian's hands were at my side, coaxing my shirt to bunch in his fingers when his mouth ran back and forth across mine, smiling mischievously. I curled into him, both of us turning more onto our sides. A sharp rock nipped at the skin of my arm as I laid on it and I situated myself uncomfortably without breaking contact with Ian. He broke us apart, much to our dismay, and noticed my wriggling as the pebble bit at my flesh. He grinned apologetically before lifting me up to lay on top of his body, not allowing a single part of me to touch the rocky floor and I blushed gratefully.

Chivalry even exists in caves.

He pecked each of my rosy cheeks with a smile, my shyness kicking in as Ian got comfortable underneath me, his back flat against the floor. His thumb stroked my cheekbone, coaxing me to meet his eyes reluctantly, my hand coming up to graze his neck delicately. We were eye to eye, only a few inches between our faces, and Ian groaned as my boot-clad foot rubbed up and down the side of his shin. I smiled, rubbing his neck with my fingers, the crest of my hairline tingling as I felt his warm breath hit my face in a rush.

"Keep doing that." He sighed in contentment, his chest and stomach muscles relaxing from under me. I met his eyes before I cupped the area beneath his ear and leaned down to brush soft innocent kisses on his neck. His chest muscles tightened and ceased to rise, his breath caught in his throat as a groan broke its way through his lips. My lips curled up at the edges when his hands fell and landed on my hips, his fingers gripping them. I stopped then, grinning, as my face lifted up to where it had been before. His grip on my sides hadn't let up and his eyes were closed, his lips parted and adorning a small smile. Unrelenting, I pressed my lips to his and much to my surprise his tongue darted out to lick my lower lip. I gasped and my hand gripped his bicep as he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth. Sensually, they moved together for a few seconds before it became heated. Another low groan came from the depths of Ian's throat, barely heard as I welcomed it with my own. I felt his cheeks rise as he smiled into the kiss, momentarily letting my tongue have control. I stopped, my heart skipping a beat at the new pressure that whipped at my flustered human brain. He broke us apart a few centimeters before chuckling into my mouth at my own hesitation and shyness. Blood rose to my cheeks for the umpteenth time at my own naivety. Our legs tangled as he captured my lips again with urgency. His lips were rough against mine, our mouths moving in jerky movements that made a warm sensual blush rise to my neck. I broke us apart to breathe; Those types of heated kisses took my oxygen away much faster, I noted.

"I missed you so much." He said with sadness, his tone husky. I stared into his deep pools of blue, wishing to swim in them forever.

"Not nearly… as much as I missed you." I said sincerely, pausing to breathe in the middle. My fingers played with his hair lying limp against his forehead, which had grown a tad in my absence, now falling a little past his eyebrows. He cocked one, barely seen under his curtain of dark hair.

"Do you want to bet?" He threatened playfully, taking my hand in his and intertwining our fingers. "Every single night without you was torture." He kissed my knuckles, pausing to stare at the cut on one of them that I received while loading necessities into the moving van about a week ago. My breath faltered as I saw the pain on his face. "I was so worried that you would get hurt." He leaned up and planted a kiss on my forehead, making me sigh.

"But I'm fine, see?" I said quietly, taking my fingers from his hair to graze the skin underneath the turn of his chin.

"Yes, you are." He agreed gratefully. "But what if something happened? I wasn't there to help you, to save you." My eyes drifted from his in shame. "To kiss you." He added suddenly as he saw my sadness, placing a small peck at the hollow of my throat. My breath halted. He responded to my reaction my brushing his lips along my jaw line until he reached the side of my mouth. There he lingered, and I whimpered with yearning when his lips were so close to where I wanted them.

"That would be a shame." I breathed on his lips before he kissed me. This one contained less heat, a smoldering type of warmth that tingled the skin of my arm pleasurably.

Why had I ever wanted to leave this? Why had I almost left Ian, in Mel's body and now in _mine_?

I started to cry.

He broke our lips apart, watching my tears fall without a cause. On his way to tuck a strand of dirty-blonde hair behind my ear he swiped away a tear, while I couldn't stand to look at him. Why had I tried to leave before, in Mel's body? Because I was a burden? I'd convinced myself both now and before that my family was better without me. They were happier. However I can distinctly remember a few select people telling me the opposite.

"Pretty little lady," Ian started. "With your swollen, teary eyes. Won't you show them to me?" I sniffled and shook my head. He took his index finger and scratched below my chin in a beckoning motion, making me smile. He grinned out of the corner of my eye. "Wanderer?" He prodded again. My blurry eyes slowly changed course to look at his chest, his neck, his chin, and finally his eyes. "Why are you crying, baby?" He had never called me this nickname before. I felt that it was correct, considering I had tears running down my cheeks. His eyes conveyed concern.

"I'm just glad that I didn't leave this." He knew immediately what I was referring to and his arms wrapped around me as I sank into his chest. Hard chest muscles pillowed my head and I felt them quake as his breath caught in his throat. I hated the sound.

"I'm glad too." He whispered, his hand resting in the groove between my shoulder blades while the other laid snugly on my lower back. His chest quivered again and I lifted my head to look at him. His eyes were shut tight, assumedly putting up the flood gates filled to the brim. "I don't know what I would've done without you." I lightly pecked his lips as his face contorted into one of pain. I'd only seen Ian cry once, and this came as a surprise as he tried to stop it.

"You would've lived," I began. I didn't get the opportunity to go on.

"Aye, lover boy. Get up, we need your muscles to help get everything into storage." Aaron called obnoxiously to Ian. I broke my gaze away from Ian's contorted face to glare at him. He wiggled his eyebrows, which I chose to ignore as put my hand on Ian's neck again. It was warm, flushed with sadness or the heat of the last fifteen minutes or so. Suddenly I was off of him and his arms were carrying my weight as he walked leisurely and I was unsure which event happened first.

"Ian…?" I trailed off as he set me down on my feet behind the meter-high stalks of corn.

"I'm not finished with you yet." He growled, capturing my lips. He leaned me down slowly until we were out of sight behind the green stalks. He got down on one knee and rested my lower back on top of his knee and supported my torso and head with one arm and supported my legs with the other. I grinned when he bit my lip on accident. He broke away quickly to apologize and my eyes were met with something wonderful. His face was flushed and in a daze, his red slightly puffy lips parted and his eyes half-closed.

Hm. So I wasn't the only one receiving satisfaction and pleasure from this type of oxygen starvation.

"Sorry," He mumbled, staring at my lips.

"S'fine." I uttered, bringing his face down to mine again. We were both so warm.

"O'SHEA!" Barked Jared from somewhere in the room and we broke apart to listen, never breaking eye contact. "Put your raging hormones to the side and come help!" A smile broke out onto both of our faces. We waited to hear his annoyed fading footsteps before he gave me one final peck and stood me up with him. He smiled at my blushing cheeks, as did I as I glanced at his.

"I'll be back." He promised, placing a lingering kiss on my forehead and cradling my face in his hands.

"I'll go with you," I propositioned. "You stole me away when I was trying to help." My eyebrow cocked itself as he grumbled.

"You've been gone for over a month, risking your life to help us, getting bruised up…" He took my hand and kissed my knuckle with the small cut, looking at me pointedly. "And keeping Kyle out of trouble. I think you've helped _plenty."_ He pointed out. My lips pursed.

"Then I'll at least walk with you while you unload," I compromised, planning to sneakily creep a few light boxes into my hands anyway. Ian rolled his eyes.

"You're so stubborn." He mumbled, squeezing my hand before we took a detour around the corn and through a tunnel. He walked slowly to make sure I kept pace, having to move to the side a few times as people walked by with heavy boxes in their arms. When we made it back to the jeep, Burns eyed my hand that was intertwined somewhere among Ian's giant fingers and turned away. Confusion and guilt hit my stomach, reminding me of his cold hands that he had laid on my hip during our small shopping trip inside the grocery store when he made it look like we were a couple.

"Wanda, I was looking all over for you!" Mel cried as she ran up to me and gave me a hug. I never let go of Ian's hand. "I missed you, sis. Where've you been since you got back?" She questioned, pulling back and watching my face with curiosity.

"She was making out with Ian." Aaron's voice bellowed, trying to stifle a laugh. My face burned darker, and suddenly the desert sand was interesting to look at.

"She was." Ian confirmed, tucking me into his side as Mel laughed at my expense.

"_Ian,"_ I hissed, his low chuckle answering in reply. He pulled me gently and pecked the top of my head.

"Wanda!" Jamie shouted from behind me, jerking me forward as he attacked me from behind with a hug. It startled me to say the least, Ian's hands steadied me with a smirk.

"Hello Jaime." I said to him as he cackled in my ear.

"I missed you." Jamie claimed, pulling back to walk around to my front and talk to me directly. His face was bright.

"I miss you much more." I countered, hugging him again for a brief second before Ian let go of my hand. I lifted my head to look at him. He winked, motioning towards the others as he started over there. I smiled. "I'm going to help." I said confidently to Jamie, reaching up to smooth his hair before following Ian. My arms were discreetly filled with a small box of toiletries, the shampoos and conditioners easily weighing about ten pounds all together. I puffed out my chest with willpower. Easy enough. My head whipped around to find Ian looking around, his eyes wide with panic before they landed on mine. They narrowed accusatorily as he saw the box in my hands.

"Wanderer." He warned, eyeing my hands. "Put that down. C'mon." He nodded his head behind him.

"No." I replied simply, walking to him. "I've helped get some of this so I _will_ help."

His sigh was highly audible. However, he did let me help for the rest of the night. With everyone helping, we had everything unloaded in no time. Only at the end did I realize how exhausted I was. Ian noticed.

"You didn't have to help." He prodded, taking my hand as we made our way to our room. Dawn was just making itself known across the sky, moonlight intermixing with sunlight in a beautiful fashion. I yawned uncertainly.

"I needed to."

"You helped enough, what with getting all of it in the first place." I didn't say anything after that. It was no use arguing. I knew what I had needed to do. He moved the red and gray doors out of the way for me.

"Thank you." I spoke softly, walking through the doorway. He chuckled at my shyness as he put the doors back in place.

"When was the last time you slept?" He wondered aloud as I didn't bother to take off my clothes before rolling onto the mattress pushed into the corner of the room. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to remember. The day before yesterday, we all slept in the car for a few hours… although I had ended up sleeping less than everyone else. I was too anxious to get home.

"The day before yesterday?" It ended up sounding like a question. Ian's eyes widened.

"I told both Kyle and Jared to make sure you didn't exhaust yourself!" He exclaimed angrily, coming to lay down beside me as the emotion dissipated. Before I got the chance to scoot closer to him, he sat up and carefully untied my boots and eased them off.

"They both told me sleep. I just couldn't." I explained.

"Why not? Are you still having nightmares about Pet?" He asked with concern. For a few weeks after being inserted into this new host body, memories of Pet's made themselves known in my dreams. Some were pleasant, some were… not. I can distinctly remember one vivid memory of her coming in contact with a human and the fear that that had induced. I shivered.

"No, I was just anxious to get home." I said honestly. He smiled, laying himself back down and pressing a light kiss to my lips.

"Do you mind if I changed out of these clothes?" He questioned hesitantly, eyeing my reaction. My neck warmed.

"N-no, whatever makes you comfortable." I replied, inwardly cursing when I stuttered. He got to his feet, never once breaking my gaze until he turned around to hunt for a clean shirt. His back had wet spots on his gray t-shirt from his sweat, right down the middle about half way and around the back of his neck. The shirt was so old the letters on it were cracked and barely visible. He found a clean shirt. He pulled off the one he was wearing hastily and I froze as the newly exposed tanned skin of his back glistened with sweat. He took this opportunity to glance over his shoulder at me, taking a double take as he saw me staring at his toned upper body. A smirk soon adorned his lips as he pulled the clean shirt over his head. The heat of embarrassment made itself known as my face burned at the sound of his shirt hitting the dirty laundry pile in the corner. I studied the stitches on the mattress until I heard the distinct noise of his shorts unzipping and took a moment to put my back to him for that one. I can't believe I had been so petty, staring at his body without permission. Would he think any less of me?

When I felt his weight on the other side of the mattress, I didn't turn to face him. I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I had taken advantage of something that shouldn't have been seen by my eyes. Usually before bed Ian and I took turns bathing and changing in the river room, I understood how we didn't do that now, it had been a long night and we were both exhausted. I spied thin spools of light creeping in through the crevices in the ceiling and chose to stare at them as Ian situated himself behind me.

"Wanderer?" _Oh goodness_, I thought, preparing for the oncoming conversation. Is he angry with me for staring? "Wanderer, turn around." He said softly. I did as he said, not wanting to disappoint him. His body scooted closer. "Look at me." He begged, and I did. His eyes conveyed no anger, instead showing curiosity and hesitance. I took the chance to look him up and down, his clothes catching my eye. He wore a white t-shirt with letters less faded, the sleeves chopped off at a comfortable angle, and his basketball shorts were dark gray and possessed a few holes. I took note that I should probably get him some new clothes on the next raid. "It's okay." I stared at him in surprise. I stared at him practically naked, and he was okay with it? Burns was right, this is a strange world.

"Really?"

"Really," He answered with honesty. "Are you comfortable in all that?" He gestured to my faded jean Bermuda shorts and ¾ sleeved off-white shirt, which was even over a tank top. Jean material was never comfortable to sleep in.

"I'm fine," I mumbled, situating the pillow under my head.

"You're just saying that." I raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe I am." I snuggled into the linen pillow cover and breathed in slowly. He coughed.

"Are you too tired? I could… dress you in more comfortable clothes…" He trailed off hesitantly. My face was hot.

"No, u-um, that's fine. I can do it." I got up to my knees, letting them ache when they made a popping noise, and got to my feet. My legs ambled over to my pile of clothes, which was shamefully much larger bunch than Ian's. When I glanced behind me, his back was to me. I quickly plucked a loose-fitting white t-shirt from the stack and began to pull off what I was wearing. The shirt first, tank top second. The under-shirt was pulled up to just below my breasts before I peeked over my shoulder and made eye contact with Ian. Well, not exactly… his eyes were glued to my exposed stomach. I gulped, heat rising everywhere.

Was I angry? Of course not. After all, I had done the same to him. His eyes filled with mischief, he shot me a small apologetic smile before turning around again. My head was flustered. I hurried now, keeping my bra on as I whipped any remaining clothing off and replacing it with the clean. My shorts peeled off of me, sticky with sweat, and I returned to the mattress once they were off and replaced with a pair of cropped sweatpants. My body settled awkwardly as insecurities kicked in.

He had looked. Does that mean that he wanted to see me? Or did he just look because I had done the same to him and he wanted to make even? And even then, did he… liked what he saw? Enjoyed it, even? His hands settled on my hips, rubbing small circles with is thumbs as we both laid on our sides.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. I gulped in understanding.

"S'fine." I squeaked quietly.

"No, it's not. I'm very sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."

"You didn't." I denied immediately, finally looking at his face. The sides of his lips were risen in a smile, his eyes bright.

"Then why is your face so red?" He pondered, taking a moment to brush his fingers across the apples of my face.

"Because." I began, taking a slow breath. "I was worried about whether or not you looked because you wanted to or because you wanted to be even with me."

"Was?"

"Am." I corrected.

"Well, I can assure you, I looked because I wanted to." He said with smoldering eyes. Was it humanly possible for my face to get any darker? "You're body is beautiful, Wanderer. But not as beautiful as _you."_ I loved how he called me Wanderer. Everyone in the caves always shortened it because my actual name was a mouthful, but the way Ian said it reminded me that he loved _me,_ the tiny silver worm, and not just the appearance of my body. His hand migrated to my lower back as he pushed me closer to him. "I love your body. But I love you more." He pecked my nose sweetly, stirring a feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"I love you too." My face buried itself between his neck and his shoulder blade.

"I missed you so much." He whispered in my ear for the second time today. "I'm so happy you're home."

"I'm happy that you're happy." I breathed, inhaling the scent of his clean shirt.

"Are you happy to be back though?"

"Of course. I don't think I could stand another night without you." I said softly. "Or Kyle's snoring."

He laughed at that. It was a wonderful sound, one that I'd missed.

"I can relate. I shared a bedroom with him for most of my life." He added, I could feel him smile. But guilt hit me. Did he still want to share a room with him? I could move in with Lily if that's what he wanted…

"I'm sorry that you're not sharing with him now." I atoned him.

"Don't be." He stroked my cheek with his thumb, leaving a trail a trail of warmth. "I barely miss him anyways. You're much prettier." His reassurance made me feel a bit better.

"Thanks." I mumbled into his neck, pecking it with my lips shyly. He froze.

"Don't do that," He warned. Confusion struck me.

"Why not?" I asked innocently.

"Oh, no, you can." He fumbled over his words. "Just not right now. Because you're exhausted and I doubt you want to… rile me up."

It seemed that my head had attained a permanent blush. Realization struck me as well as the weight holding down my eyelids.

"Okay." I replied, pulling back and snuggling into his warm chest. Our cave was filled with dawn's light and my eyelids seemed to glow orange, I was thankful for something to block the sunlight. He chuckled.

"Sleep well, my Wanderer."

"G'night Ian." I grumbled softly, inhaling his smell. His lips pecked my forehead and his fingers traced invisible patterns on the small of my back until I was close to falling asleep, glad to be home, especially in the muscled arms of my Ian. I drifted and my last thought was that I was so glad I was able to provide for my family, to give them what they had before and even more. Despite the sleep it had cost me… Ian's warm chest would help me catch up today.

* * *

**Most of the upcoming chapters will probably not be this long. I just sort of wanted to get it started. Hopefully the next chapter will be up in the some of the next following weeks! c:**


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